Giving me gifts is my husband’s love language. He agonises over finding the perfect present. Sometimes he asks for a list or a specific item. What do you want? It drives me mad but it matters to him that it’s right. In the months leading up to a birthday he’s more attentive than usual, hoping to catch the fly-away comments I make. I’m careful to notice this now. I like it but I don’t want one I know to say following a flippant moment of admiration for a new pen, a book, a hiking tent… At other times inspiration strikes and he plans over many months to pull off a surprise no-one could have anticipated and yet is exquisitely perfect. My tendency to carefully unpeel the tape, trying to avoid tearing the paper (we can use it again later) uses up the last of his patience.
Just tear it!
It’s a rare thing for me to be able to reciprocate his thoughtfulness. I’ve managed it only once. For our wedding anniversary, the current milestone one, I saved up and arranged for his precious lost wedding ring to finally be replaced. His reaction when he opened that box (no paper, I’m too stingy!) is one I will treasure for the rest of my life. I’ll have to, I can’t imagine being able to top such a perfect gift!
I share this to give you a sense of the mood we were in exchanging gifts on that special day for after the excitement of placing the ring on his finger his face dropped. Opening his backpack he passed a beautifully wrapped box across the table, mumbling it’s not really all that good. I unwrapped the box and found… a Garmin InReach.
Let me explain.
Hiking is a passion I adore. It is the source of my health and wellbeing and the place where I connect with people and nature and the freshest air imaginable. Hiking with the Flamingo Flock every weekend brings me joy and opened up a world of adventure I’m eager to explore. Pre-children I was an avid walker and pounded the footpaths of every place I’ve ever lived. It’s how I familiarised myself with my neighbourhood and it’s how I took time for myself. I need it, introvert that I am, and I always find it in movement. In the time since becoming a parent society has become less accepting of women walking alone.
Please, ladies, be careful and walk in groups wrote every news article ever.
Please, not alone, Melinda my mother-in-law begged.
Women are being killed proclaimed a popular womens’ media outlet.
Sigh.
A wise woman and solo hiker admonished me in a more practical way. Don’t stop solo hiking she advised. But never, ever go without your safety precautions. OK…Tell someone where you’re going and when you intend to return. Share your location with someone. Trust your gut. And… get a Garmin InReach.
If you know me at all you’ll recognise my reluctance to submit to other peoples’ bad behaviour. Honestly, I’m not reckless, I like feeling safe and I’m careful to make intentional decisions about what I’m doing. Ian trusts my instincts without question and will turn around from a campsite and move on even if we’ve driven hours to get to it. Sometimes it just doesn’t feel right, you know? But fork out a not-insignificant amount for yet another device? Nah, not for me. I’ll be right.
As we hike I notice we are able to get phone reception in places that seem remote and unlikely to reach a tower for connectivity. I also notice a sense of unease when I see the SOS signal appear in the top righthand corner of my screen. I’m stubborn (ok, pigheaded describes me better) and I push aside those creeping twinges of nervousness when I stride out on the trail.
And then I walked alone on an eerie morning in the bush not too far from home. It was silent; not a single bird or wallaby about, no breeze rustling dry eucalypt leaves. Just the crunch of my boots on the ground and my own breath becoming more rapid as I let the creeping sense of unnamed fear grow unfettered.
I wish I had a Garmin InReach.
The thought came unbidden and this time it wouldn’t be quashed. What are you resisting for, I asked myself, you are ‘cutting off your nose to spite your face’ here!!!
I made it home safely and triumphantly, unscathed but somewhat more sober than before. Yes, I resent the need for safety equipment as much as ever, particularly in the context of being careful around strangers, but I’m getting over my own ridiculous resistance. I can be practical. What if I slipped into one of the countless concealed open mineshafts that dot my beloved Central Victorian trails? What if my phone goes flat (as it does most hikes)? What if, and I mean no harm to anyone else here, what if one of my fabulous Flamingos needed help? This, this is why a sensible and well-prepared hiker carries a personal safety device.
It’s taken a while but I think I’ve submitted to good sense. That Garmin InReach may well be one of the most thoughtful gifts Ian has ever given me. It says keep hiking. It says you’ve got this. There’s nothing more precious than the support and encouragement of someone like himself. How lucky am I???
Somehow, in both the blink of an eye and the excruciating crawl of time passing, we have reached the very last line of the Desiderata. I hope you’ve found some pearls of its wisdom within my rambles over the last year. Be careful… It strikes me that this is an unexpectedly cautionary way of finishing a poem that resonates hopefully with me. I read back over all the lines and see that it’s always been a poem of caution, of advice from a father to a child. Strange, then that, it is my talisman of optimism. How about you? What do you take from the Desiderata?
So what’s next? I’m going to take the next couple of months to let some ideas that have been tickling the corners of my mind take shape. I’ll be back here in September with the next project. I can’t wait to share it with you then! Meanwhile, the main updates will be in the Komunikas newsletter. Have you subscribed yet??? I’ll also still be around on social media, make sure you follow so you don’t miss any. There’s an another adventure ahead, you won’t want to miss it!!!
I love this Melinda. Keep hiking. You got this!
…and thank you.
Aw shucks😍
I love this too Ian. ‘It says Keep Hiking’. Having your partner’s support to do the things you love is something very special indeed…I’m not sure whether it’s because Julian Assange is free or because of you two that I have a tear in my eye!
I am so aware of how lucky I am! (I also remind him of how lucky he is🙃)
Nothing keeps a good flamingo from her hiking passion! It sounds like you could use a new phone if yours keep going flat – just saying. And Ian Best gift ever!! I Love you two lovebirds