I’ve had quite a week. I ‘abandoned’ my people at Ardley and went on a solo trip. As an introvert at heart who craves solitude, I threw caution to the wind and overdosed on activities that bring me joy. Lots of driving, different places to sleep every night or two, and a varied but not always healthy diet to keep my energy up along the way. I revelled in the company of some treasured souls. I hiked to exquisite places and drank in breathtaking views. OK, it was the winds that took my breath away – some of those peaks in the Brindabellas whip up a serious gale!!!
It was an indulgent quest to search out a few of the Things Wanted Or Needed.
I sat with this line in the Desiderata while I was away. I was relaxed and pondered it for too long, obviously, as this blog is late and it would be so easy to just skip it and pretend it had never happened. You might one day go searching back through the archive to try and find the missing line. Maybe you would assume it was accidentally deleted. Maybe I forgot to put it in. Perhaps it was missed in the copy of the Desiderata I was using. All good excuses.
See, I’d made a list of people who are loud and aggressive (in my opinion) and it sat beside me as I drafted and deleted and rewrote over and over again. I never wrote about any individual person per se, just the behaviours they inflicted upon me and the concepts they offended me with and the impact it had on me. Be grateful for all those words deleted. It was a disgraceful set of blame and complaints that made me feel ashamed.
It was a self-indulgent whinge that shall never be inflicted upon you lovely people.
When I took myself to task over my failure to write the blog I was a wee bit harsh. In fact, I was downright mean. The irony of avoiding a piece that is about avoidance!!! I mean, it’s a weakness, isn’t it? Face your fears! Take on the challenge! We can do hard things!!! The message I took to heart is unwavering in its simplicity. Avoidance is weak. Confrontation is strong.
I am well practiced at avoiding the tricky things, obviously. Confrontation is really not my thing.
Until the pandemic came along and made me stand eye to eye with people and ideas that I could not ignore. I realised then, with the unrelenting clarity of hindsight, that you can only stand proud in the world if you stand up for your own values. Sometimes that means you have to confront the loud and aggressive ones. Some of us sadly need things to be ridiculously extreme before we heed the message!!!
Avoid the loud and aggressive ones but don’t ignore them. They are absolutely vexatious to the spirit but they’ll do damage if unrestrained.
The very best way I know to counterbalance the vexation wrought by the loud and aggressive ones is to seek out the ones who bring you joy. That’s been the wonder of these last few self-indulgent weeks. Balance is returned.
I would really love to hear your thoughts on this one that tangled me in knots I tied myself. How do you manage the loud and aggressive ones in your life??? Asking for a friend…