You might not have noticed but there have been some concerts recently. I know, I know, it’s been kept on the down-low and only those in the inner circles even knew it was happening. I assume they’re struggling artists, both of them, giving it their all and making a go of it, with pretty committed fans who convinced them to make the trip down under from overseas. Umm… Taylor someone? Ooh, and the other girl doesn’t have a surname, something to do with a colour? Perhaps you’ve heard of them?
Everywhere I look I’m met with heartwarming pictures of mothers and daughters dressed in sequins, wearing friendship bracelets, singing their hearts out and smiling with unrestrained joy. Dancing. Watching awestruck as Pink sings, suspended above the crowd, her athleticism equalled by showmanship matched by musicality. My dear friend shares beautiful pictures of herself with her teenage mini-me and captions it ‘at Taylor with 96,000 of our friends’.
As far as I can tell, I am one of the very few people in Australia who did not frock up and join the celebrations. Obviously I’m aware of Taylor Swift and I love Pink’s music but the phenomenon that is ‘being a Swiftie’ passed me by. how it did, I have no idea. The hysteria over nabbing the elusive, expensive concert tickets bemused me and the creation of outfits according to albums happened without my noticing anything at all.
The joy I see on the faces of the Swifties who managed to nab tickets to her concerts and experience the wonder created by the event is glorious. Vision of tens of thousands of others who somehow DID get the message took me by surprise. Wow! I missed out… on something.
There was a time when I would have been distressed by this. I’d see my friends at something (a party, a concert, a sleepover, anything where they’ve gathered without me) and I’d have felt purposely omitted, which would have rapidly morphed into feeling unwanted, which would have attached itself to the first person who could tenuously have been expected to ensure I was included, and end with me sobbing in my bed, convinced that I was unloved and actively excluded by all my friends. Probably forever. Probably they’d been wanting to do it for ages. Probably I’d missed all the earlier cues. Probably I will be alone for the rest of my life…
It seems we are never too old to feel the pang of it. You know the particular sting, or perhaps it’s a dull ache. Just maybe, for you, it’s paralysing. It’s got a 21st century tag. FOMO. The Fear Of Missing Out. Know it? Ever felt it???
Thankfully for me, with time has come perspective and, most importantly, clarity. There’s another acronym in town taking on FOMO at his own game and, in my opinion, trouncing him from every perspective.. I wonder if you’ve heard of her. JOMO. The JOY of missing out. I am happy to miss out on group activities if the event isn’t something I actually enjoy. I truly hate being in a crowd. I like sharing music with others, sometimes, but in smaller, more intimate settings.
Truly, Taylor Swift has built a community that embodies everything that is loving and honest and inclusive in the world. I am thrilled and relieved to see it. And not for a single moment do I wish I’d been there.
What relief to be free of FOMO! Whenever he does raise his head I look him squarely in the eyes and challenge him to justify his presence. Is this about something I actually enjoy doing? Stand down, my friend, I do not need you stirring up trouble where it doesn’t exist!
I LOVE being alone these days. A hike out into the quiet of the bush or a cheeky escape to camp by the river will fill my cup to overflowing and I won’t notice where anyone else is – with me or without me. I couldn’t tell you exactly what I was doing on the evenings of those concerts but I am confident it was quiet and introspective, possibly involved a glass of wine and definitely ended with time reading a good book. I won’t have reached any particular emotional heights and I will have been in bed early. Equally glorious from my perspective. Boring? Probably… but not to me.
JOMO, so glad you’re here. Tonight I might play some quiet music in the background while I’m reading. Any recommendations??? A bit of Taylor??? She’s a bit country, I hear, and once I did get to go to the Grand Ole Opry… does that count?